FIFTEEN - Being a "Little Sister" for the first time in my life

My BIG BROTHER STEVE

Getting to know my BIG brother Steve

Once I knew for sure that the DNA match was for my Brother Steve, we started chatting on the phone. I assumed he lived in the USA, and was shocked to learn that Steve had been born right here in Toronto, same place as my sister Tina and I.  All those years we were searching in the Wrong damn place! I spoke to him for the first time during the first week of August. When I asked where he lived Now, he said Vancouver....Another shock! A few months earlier I had booked a short visit to Vancouver to visit family...would be there in 2 weeks....Did Steve want to meet...YES he DID!

The YING and YANG of discovery

How strange to meet your BIG brother when he is 68 and his Little sister (me) is 64 years old.

There was Sadness in the meeting...all the years lost, and the Biggest was my sister had passed away 9 years earlier. Tina would have been Thrilled that we found Steve.  And then of course, there was the fact that our mom was AWOL in Both our lives.

"BUT" there was also the BIG Happiness WOW factor....I finally found my BROTHER! 

Nothing else mattered, we found each other and everything else was in the PAST. I was more fortunate than Steve, because I always knew about HIM. Poor Big Brother Steve had NO idea about Tina and I, or many facts about our mom. ( he was told his mom was "NORA JENNINGS" )

MEETING for the FIRST time in our 60's

It's a strange feeling of worry, excitement and a bit of fear in the anticipation of meeting a sibling for the first time. Steve's partner SUE recorded our first hug and allowed us to prattle on like we knew each other for decades. I brought Steve some documents and photos. It's kind of a shock to learn my brother Steve has never seen a picture of his mother....almost surreal. Here I was upset that I had only 3 wedding photos, and here my brother had NEVER seen her face.

We sat at the restaurant going over all the documents etc and I tried to remember any little tidbit to share with Steve. I could tell he "Needed" to know Everything.

It was comforting to know that the biggest hurdle of finding each other was done. It is not just a NEW page for Both of us, it is a new BOOK. We can put a Positive spin on everything from this point on!

FORTEEN - MEET "my Brother from the same Mother" SUCCESS!!!

Meeting my Brother STEVE for the FIRST time in my life!!!

LIFE SURPRISES for the SIBLINGS!

My earliest memory when I learned I had a brother, was when I was perhaps 4 years old. I was using scissors to cut out these cute little Cartoon babies I found in a book. My mom (Lenora Jennings Veri) walked in the room, and burst into tears....I was aghast and didn't understand what I had done wrong. Mom explained the book was for her "Little Boy Baby" I don't remember what she said about why the Baby Boy was gone, I just remember that she was quite upset. I Never forgot about my mom telling me about the Little Baby Boy.

Because my mom has been AWOL since 1965 and my father (Peter Veri) would never discuss her, my facts were mostly Guesses. I never knew "how or where" my parents met, fell in love or married. Most of my information has been either "Assuming" or from some dedicated research. 

The only thing I knew for sure, was my mom was born in Kentucky...that's it. 

I heard my mom worked at a hotel in Chicago as a Cigerette Girl, and my father perhaps used to be a Bartender at the same hotel. My father also told my sister Tina and I that he told mom he wouldn't raise another man's child. Mom put her "little Baby Boy" up for adoption and my parents were married in 1953. I "Assumed" the baby was not much older than me, so maybe born 1952?

" ANCESTRY.CA " Success story!

Years ago my father told a cousin that my mom's baby boy was named "STEVE or STEVEN" and lived in Dayton Ohio. So that's where I concentrated my searches all these years, mainly in Dayton, and Chicago....couldn't find a thing! I was looking under "Jennings" but realized it was a long shot because the baby had gone up for adoption before 1953.

Didn't matter where Tina and I searched, there was no info on mom's first born. Even relatives would look at me funny, saying they never heard about mom having a previoud child.

THANK GOODNESS FOR ANCESTRY DNA TEST!

WHO is this DNA match who doesn't respond to my Monthly Messages!

So I wrote to the first 50 DNA matches, but kept strick notes on the top 10 matches. Every MONTH I would write, and kept a record of the message, the date and anything else of interest. Strangley enough I did get some responses, but not from the top 5. Most of the replys were adoptees looking for info on Their birth family....sadly I didn't have any info to give them.

The top 5 matches were the difficult ones. You try hard Not to get discouraged. WHY aren't I getting any replies, WHY did they take a DNA test if they won't answer - blah, blah, blah. You must "shake it off" and start the next day with a new Positive attitude. Finally with some creative messaging, my FORTH best DNA match wrote back. We exchanged quite a few emails and he sent me the First photos I had ever seen of my mom's oldest sister Dolores!

Then I heard back from my THIRD Dna match, then number TWO....but who is number ONE? On August 1st I decided to write ONE MORE TIME ( 6 months AFTER my first message ) A week later I got a response, they wanted to know a bit more about me. I gave them my mom's name, plus a few more tidbits - - - but I did NOT tell them that I thought the male DNA was actually my Brother ( I've read you Never do that, you might scare them away, better to move Slow ) I checked my email a few times every hour. Finally I heard back from his wife  who wrote me saying " I have been stalking all your Social Media pages, OMGawd I think you are Steve's sister" 
 UREEKA I FINALLY found my BROTHER!!!!

THIRTEEN - my Lucky number!

MOM @ Aunt Anne's wedding 1956

Finally something to smile about

Before I start the latest story, let's be clear, I have NOT found my mom - yet. The search is still on going, but some days I run out of steam. There is just so many dead end leads. On those days I try to focus on "New" searches, for other people besides my mom Lenora Anne Jennings. The strange thing is how often these Random searches result in some sort of success...and August 1st it happened again.

When I took my "ANCESTRY DNA test" I had over a Thousand matches. Most of course are third, fourth, fifth and sixth cousins. The ones I decided to pursue with a Passion was the close matches, up to and including second cousins.  The one DNA match I was most interested in finding was my Highest "centimorgans" (1411 cMs) From all my Google searches, making contact with a close match takes some finess & low key conversation. Offer to Exchange information and don't give out how exactly HOW you think they may be connected to you. The idea is to NOT scare them off with TMI, let it sink in and give the person time to adjust to the possibilities and DNA evidence.

Plot and Follow your Course

So I sat down for a few evenings and wrote to my closest DNA matches....ALOT of them! I made little notes to myself on the Ancestry site, detailing what I had wrote, the date of the latest note and what if any reply I got. I wanted to be sure to space my letters apart to them so they didn't become alarmed.I was trying Not to write more than once a month It takes a ton of will power, NOT to scream in CAPITAL letters....you don't understand, you could be who I'm looking for, you might know my mom, you could change my life!!! 

But of course I stayed the course. It seemed too important to take the chance someone would cut me off, when they had important information on mom. 

( I once found a person who had my close relative on her Family Tree. When I gently approached her about any possible information, I was curtly told "I have that person on my Tree for the sake of my Children, I will not discuss this any further" - I complied and never bothered her again )

TRY, TRY, and TRY AGAIN!

The moral of this post is to "BECOME the Engine that Could, BE the Engine" I can't tell you haw many notes I have written. I continued to read tips on how to make contact....the latest one was to include an email address with any correspondance on Ancestry.ca and Finally it worked! 

My Closest DNA match had only two initials as a User name. It was managed by someone else. I wrote to them four times, the last time was August 1st 2018. I tried to sound veri laid back and asking if we could perhaps Exchange information since we were such close matches. I included my email and Hoped for the best ....YES, YES, YES finally SUCCESS.

The lady who manages "S.C." DNA results, replied to my message. She asked me to tell her a bit about myself. I wrote mom's information as well as my sister and myself. I checked my email a million times that night....the next day she replied "omg I think you might be Steve's sister" 

Well guess what....I "AM" Steve's sister....and it feel Wonderful!!!

TWELVE ~ Mystery lady standing with MOM is my Aunt RITA!

RITA & LENORA Jennings for MOM's wedding in Chicago March 1953

Mystery woman with MOM @ her wedding is Aunt RITA!

For more than 50 years I wondered who the Pretty brunette was, standing with my mom when she married my father. One of my NEW found First cousins thought she knew who is was....when she sent me a Picture of my MOM's sister, there was NO doubt....I can not tell you how Exciting it is to know she was my "AUNT RITA"!!! Not some random person...but my mom's older sister!

Another FIRST cousin sent me documents of some of the children being placed in an orphanage after their mom died in 1933. They had been moved to Buffalo NY to live with an Aunt as their mother was dying. I read with interest about Aunt Rita and the many Life changes the children faced. She has the face of a kind young woman, wish I had a chance to know her.

The FAMILY Curse strikes again

After searching on a few Genealogy sites, I learned of Aunt Rita's death around 1957. The family history of Colon Cancer took Rita in her early 30's...gone too soon. It seems that even though Aunt Rita had a short life, she did find some Happiness. By all accounts her Marriage to Joseph was a Happy marriage and they had a son together. The Jennings family seems to have had more than their share of tragic family stories. Seems surreal to read what they had to endure.

MOM is still missing...I can't figure out why?

I have NOT been able to find out ANYTHNG ( NADA, ZIP, ZERO ) about my mom....I think there is a SLIVER of information that I lack,  in finding what happened to her. It just does NOT make sense that I have found SO many relatives, but NO one knows where my MOM went.  How is is possible to find who a Mystery woman is in her Wedding photo and NOT know what happened to my MOM? SOMEWHERE there is SOMEONE who knows where LENORA ANNE Veri / JENNINGS is. Guess that is my real challenge....finding a person who has the answers. The SEARCH is STILL on!!!

ELEVEN ~ "More" Maternal COUSINS ~ Yippeee

MOM (Lenora Anne Jennings VERI ) ab 1970 Chicago

The "Jennings Cousins" are Everywhere

This week MORE Jenning Cousins have been found. I was lucky enough to speak to 2 of them, and it has been a Thrill, but a bit of a let down....NO ONE has seen or heard from my mom since about 1972. The search is still on, but my head is tired from banging against a brick wall. BUT the cousins have shared new info about the family and fired up my interest again. My searches so far have found ALL my mom's siblings, neices and nephews...where are you mom?

ANCESTRY.ca gives a new lead

It was late at nite and I was tired of typing "SEARCH" without having any new information. Decided to look at various public Family Trees  for one of my mom's brothers. I found a Tree which had Vernard Jennings, so I wrote them a letter explaining Vernard was possibly an uncle. How exciting to find a reply the next day! Ends up the young lady who answered was the daughter of my First cousin!! She asked questions and called her aunts for the answers, then was sweet enough to provide emails to a few other First cousins...and next came a few phone calls. Most of the calls lasted an hour, one almost 90 minutes. It's amazing to have SO much to talk about when you do NOT know each other.  My cousins haven't heard from my mom since about 1970-71 but they shared a few stories of their "Aunt Lee" It was a surreal feeling, Hearing about a mother who I haven;t seen since 1965.

A Treasured but lousy picture of Mom

One of my cousins sent me the last picture she had of my mother. I did Not recognise the woman with Black eyes and eye brows with gawd aweful hair. My mom Lenora was always well dressed, coiffed hair and acting like a proper gentile lady (much like my sister Tina) When I asked the cousin what the heck happened to my mom, because she was Never like this in my life....well cousin chuckled and explained it all. Seems in the 70's the big thing there was wearing a wig to go out and party. Cousin said she had a picture of her own mother, with an equally Terrible wig. I sighed and decided to post the picture here on my Blog, since it is my Newest treasure.

TEN - Still can't find MOM, but I gained a First COUSIN!

TINA and I in Montreal...giddy in life, no worries about tomorrow 1980ish

"Some" PIECES are coming TOGETHER

There has been a bit of Progress but NO leads on my mom. I started corresponding with my 4th best DNA match from ANCESTRY.CA. At first the contact was cautious and strictly factual, but we seem to get along pretty well. I think we have exchanged over a dozen Long detailed emails. Knowing a bit of his family history, I was able to focus on tracing how we were connected. It was exactly the information I needed, since I started my search without ANY real facts other than my mother's name.

Writing my DNA matches "again and again"

How many emails are enough without crossing the line of being obssessive and seeming too Needy? I am just not sure. When I saw my DNA matches I wrote to alot of them. When I didn't hear back, I wrote again. I wrote one last time, but No answer. Then my FB buddy found an email of my 2nd best DNA match! Tom had Googled her name thru many small counties in Illinois and BINGO there she was!!!! Tom called to make sure he was on the right track and spoke to her mom....YES my Mom's brother's ex-wife!!!! Tom then spoke to the daughter....my FIRST COUSIN!!!! Of course I could not dial their number fast enough. I spoke to my AUNT for 45 minutes, the next day I spoke to my FIRST COUSIN for an hour!!! I had so many questions, and I was writing her answers as fast as I could. My brain was fried after our phone call. I had to turn off the phone and the computer for 24 hours, there was just SO much to process. My ENTIRE life I had Never had any contact with my maternal side! EXCITING does not describe what I was feeling...maybe ELATED is a better word!

DNA matches MATCH!

The Wonderful thing about this journey is the unexpected. 
TOM was able to find my 2nd best DNA match listed in a Quilt Guild newsletter....it was CRAY, since I have been a quilter for almost 40 years!  My NEW cousin learned her love of quilting from her mother (my Aunt!) The next great surprise is my cousin has been researching the family history for many years. She said she made an ANCESTRY book for all her family, filled with all the family Goodies. Ann M plans to go thru her family photos and share some with me. Her mom mentioned that she had a photo of my Grandmother Anna Mae holding my mom as a child. I also learned they have a yearly Family Picnic...I must admit I am tempted and also nervous about the idea of joining them. I never imagined that I would find any other family on my mom's side. This search has opened new doors...but NO ONE has heard from my mom since the 60's. SO the search is still on, but I confess to feeling a bit defeated.

NINE - Finally added names in the JENNINGS Family Tree

LENORA JENNINGS photo retouched by "RANDOM ACTS of KINDNESS PHOTO GROUP" on Facebook

FAMILY MYSTERIES

Seems the FAMILY MYSTERY is never ending. IF I hadn't seen the documents to back this info up, I would never have figured this out...it's IMPOSSIBLE to dream this stuff up. TOM and LOU have been invaluable.This is what Appears to have happened to the JENNINGS.

ROY ELLIS Jennings has children....a Lot of children. 

1) Clarence James  / 2) Constance  / 3) Lennine Ruth ~  all died in their first year of life

4) Dolores 1916

5) Rita (Freda) 1922

6) Vernard (Bernard / Bernie) 1924

7) John Richard  1926

8) Vincent Edward  1930

9)  ANNE 1932 { MY MOM but where is Lenora}

The JENNINGS / ELLIS / BLOOMFIELD SAGA

Some of ROYs older children have ELLIS as last name, but ALL of them also use JENNINGS. When my mother was born, her father ROY died a few weeks after her birth. That is when the entire family virtually "Disappears" No one is found in Carrollton Kentucky or anywhere else in the USA

( now remember my mom mentioned she was raised by her Paternal aunt, that's how we found her )

Suddenly in Buffalo New York a "Frederick and Lenora BLOOMFIELD" have 5 children with the exact same names and Birth dates as the youngest 5 JENNINGS children! Coincidence - NOT

Dolores the oldest seems to be the only one Not listed on the census as a Bloomfield child. But she was 16 years old when her father died, so it's possible she moved on her own.

It is at this time my mother becomes "Lenora Anne" likely named after the Paternal aunt.

NO ONE left to tell the Tale

So far the research shows there is NO ONE left alive. It "IS" possible my mom Could be alive, but I can't find Anything to back that up. Now it's a search to hopefully find out what happened to her. Did she have more children, another marriage or two. Was my mother able to make a Happy life for herself....is there ANY ONE left talk to about Lenora Anne Jennings / Bloomfield / Veri???

STILL looking for the answers....must be Someone who knows Something!

EIGHT - Too MUCH information and NOT enough information, sort thru the BS

"NEW" MOM photo from CUSTODY COURT files 1966?

ORGANIZATION only goes so far, I need HELP!

It's a challenge to SEARCH, read, save, and also "think outside the box". It's been Hours, days, weeks and now Months which have not provided any Real clues about my mother. My New FACEBOOK friend LOU has been my motivator, always saying "Don't give up" I guess all the years she taught Genealogy, she used that mantra on her students. Still, I was NOT getting anywhere and I think even Lou was feeling a bit frustrated because we were Not finding any new direction. 

I even read about and set up a"MIRROR" Family Tree on Ancestry.ca ~ the theory is IF you have a close DNA match, and you "think" some of their Family Tree members Could be your mutual family, you ADD them to your tree. You will get HINTS from Ancestry, which COULD lead to information you don't know exists. You wouldn't even Know what questions to ask. It HAS been helpful, but still nothing concrete - NOW WHAT?

The COURT files on the1965 - 1969 CUSTODY battle between my parents brought new information, but Lou and I weren't able to formulate any new leads....and then it Happened...Lou posted some questions on a Facebook KENTUCKY U.S.A. Search site. One person who kept replying to her posts was "TOM". He had a few ideas and after helping us for awhile, wanted to join our search!!!! BONUS!!!!

NEW BLOOD Transfusion

TOM brings a new element to the search, he is Great with "sounds like" names. If his search showes him RITA, he can read about FREDA and tell it's the same person, HOLY CRAP! TOM is also a pro at searching for anyone or anything to do with the military. TOM lives in Kentucky and has a good feel for the area and knows the special places to look. I use GRAVE SEARCH, well Not Tom...he searches the Burial plots in the area and has found graves for some of my mom's siblings who died veri young. These were Not listed on any of the standards Grave search sites!

The BIGGEST find that our pal Tom found....he searched the Kentucky Illinois "Births" He matched up my MIRROR matches to actual Birth and death announcements. Tom also found information on WWI Private "ROY JENNINGS", who it appears died when his Fishing skiff overturned in the OHIO River in 1932 ~ it was a AH HA moment! Mt mother said her mom died during child birth and her father died a few weeks before her birth on May 9 1032.  Things were pointing to this "might" be my grandfather...this was the shot in the arm I was hoping for!

Another BIT of help from a FACEBOOK Ancestry search site

I was fortunate to also have another young man STEVE from a Facebook Ancestry site, put his touch on the "Search for Lenora Jennings"  I have NO idea how he found the newspaper article about my Grandfathers drowning death in 1932. To see the Newspaper clip detailing how the storm had over turned his skiff, how a stranger towed the body back to shore for Identification and burial....AMAZING! Even a few of my DNA matches provided names, and when we checked them out, they turned into Leads. There is NO way I could have discovered the things I have so far, without the help I have recieved. My brain could Never have thought of all the quirks that the others were able to connect. I am amazed that Anyone is able to trace their Heritage!

SEVEN - Becoming an Ancestry DNA Detective

LENORA Anne JENNINGS 1957 Toronto Ontario

Becoming an ANCESTRY DNA Detective

The last ten days have been a FLURRY of BRAIN CELL activity! SO much to do with the Ancestry DNA results.  I read everything I could to make sure I covered all the bases. I must say I am quite Happy with my Minimal success. A few months ago I knew "Nothing", now I know there are DNA matches out there - some how it feels like progress.

Some of the DNA matches on ANCESTRY have family trees attached to their DNA results. I scoured over them, looking for any JENNINGS....not much to find. Then I had a DUHHHH moment and realized that there Could VERI well be someone who IS a Jennings, but got married and is now a Smith or ?  So then my plan of action was Researching every single name on someones Family Tree to see if some where in the Past there was a Jennings. Almost always, there was NOT!!!! This wasn't going to easy - EEEEK

WHY do I need GEDmatch?

 

I watched "YOUtube" videos, joined FACEBOOK Ancestry groups and even checked out a bunch of "PINterest" for suggestions on what to do next. I learned about GEDmatch, a docking place for your DNA results....regardless of what company you took your test from. Once you Upload your DNA results, you can Compare them with whomever has their DNA results on GEDmatch.

It took a few days before I was able to do a comparison of "ONE to MANY"  Basically it is ONE (my DNA) compared to MANY (all other DNA submissions) There is SO many to see. I read Everything I could on the GEDmatch site, and it really helped. When I looked at the page it didn't seem like there was any order, but clicking the arrows on the headings I was able to use the chart better. All my highest DNA matches were first, and the cMs and segments were easier to see.

The Best thing about GEDmatch is the emails they provide, so you can contact your DNA matches. They suggest to do a thorough comparison on their site to make sure Before emailing. It was easy enough to do, so I double checked my entries before sending an email. I noticed some of my best matches were also the same people from ANCESTRY.CA  I felt more confident writing to the matches using the information confirming our connection from TWO sites.  Amazing feeling to write to distant "family" just do NOT expect alot of replies. YES I even read about "HOW" to properly address your DNA matches. You have to dangle a bit of information you have gathered, without spilling all the beans. You definetely do NOT want to say "hey I'm looking for my mother Lenora" WHY, because maybe they Know her and she does Not want to be found. 
Take it nice and slow Grasshopper - Patience in a Virtue!

GEDmatch Tier 1

SO, I'm on GEDmatch, reading, comparing, and not really getting a feeling for what I am looking at. I notice off to the side on the page is an offer for their Upgraded "TIER 1" membership. It's $10 a month OR you can choose a One time $10, which seemed like a super fair deal. WOW, the $10 was worth every penny. With the Tier 1, you can click on 3D or 2D comparisons with the matches of your choice. The colored visual really seemed to tell the tale. You can even see the different Segments of your DNA and compare them to whom ever you want. You get a glimpse into the Crazy world of DNA brainiacs....I didn't understand it all, but the colors helped my brain accept the facts.

Bet you are wondering about my replies....patience Grasshopper - LOL

SIX - Ancestry DNA arrives a month early!

Maria Yvette VERI ( ME! ) 1956 Toronto Ontario

ANCESTRY DNA test arrives a month early!

OMGawd....ANCESTRY DNA Test arrived and I haven't had a chance to watch all the videos to learn what the test is going to tell me!!!! I stayed up til 3:30am because I was SO excited and Hopeful and afraid to expect any miracles....but secretly praying there Would be some!

I went to the ANCESTRY.CA site and was pleasantly surprised at all the info they provided. The charts showed where my relatives originated from, and also the migration to the United States. Oh the colors, the diagrams and best of all the little stories, which you could click for every 25 years starting about the 1600's. I'm quite impressed, Ancestry did a good job.

Hold my BREATH and CLICK to see my DNA matches - Yikes

You would think a full grown woman would be "Veri" laid back about hitting the button to see who matches my DNA....but NO! Instead I was a bit afraid, because what if my MOM was there and had been all these years...just waiting for me to search in the right place? Worse case is if there is NO matches, or maybe only matches on my fathere's side, which would be NO help in finding my mom. Well OF COURSE I clicked and then had the confusion of reading something I did not understand. Good thing there is ANCESTRY "help" and then GOOGLE and of course YouTube videos. With all the extra help I was able to make sense of it a bit more.

I found a match of 1411 cMs ( Centimorgans for you Newbies - LOL ) Across 57 DNA segments.

( Extreme High chance we share an Aunt, Uncle, Grandparent OR could be HALF-SIBLING )

Another match was 1110 cMs across 42 segments

( First or Second cousin or share a Grandparent - Extremely High chance )

A 500 cMs across 27 segments

( Extreme High chance of second cousin, neice, nephew, aunt, uncle or share G.G. Grandmother)

Finally a bunch in the 350 and Below cMs

There was over 1,000 DNA MATCHES! Just AMAZING!

SO WHAT DO I DO NOW WITH ALL THESE DNA Matches???

Guess what is the kicker of all this fancy DNA stuff. "Many" of my matches have their User names as Initials (not names)  Many have NOT been on Ancestry for Years, and MANY have NO interest is exchanging information. I have learned there is alot of people who took the test to learn about their HISTORY, where their Ancestors originated from and what different Nationalities run thru their veins. They already Know who their family is, and aren't interested in finding any extras.

I have wrote to almost 50 DNA matches. The largest response has been from people who are ADOPTED and LOOKING FOR BIRTH FAMILY.  I answered all I could on my father's side, but of course I couldn't help with anything on my mom's side. 

FINGERS CROSSED that One day I WILL be able to share her information!

FIVE - let's play the LENORA JENNINGS memory game!

Lenora and Peter VERI wedding photo 1953 - Brunette lady UNKNOWN

Let's play the "Lenora Jennings" MEMORY GAME

I have "Googled" many times on how to find someone. TONS of sites with many ideas, just a matter of reading them all for the best direction. All the sites suggest talking to relatives and picking their brain for Any little tidbit in their Memory.  It has been a challenge because my mom left Over 50 YEARS ago! The adults who would have been her piers have long since passed away and the younger relatives were not old enough to know her.

Even ANCESTRY.CA has links with suggestions. Unfortunetly I do Not have access to ANY photographs, certificates or any other documents. I'm actually amazed that I have found Any thing about my mom...but I haven't found a hint of what happened to her. IF only I had a Birthdate or knew a siblings name! I was able to get a copy of my sister Tina's last surgery. I was hoping there would be a mention of my mom or even a family members name - NOT! Which is why the search continues. A DNA sample, an Instagram and a Twitter account, and finally a BLOG - fingers crossed this works!

"Meager memories"

My oldest living relative Aunt Anne (real sweetheart) remembers mom as having the Gift of Gab. Mom once walked in cold turkey to a job interview then left with a job. Aunt Anne recalls mom also dressed well and had a gentle soul.

One cousin remembers mom's great voice, another cousin said how well my mom made Peanut butter and Jelly sandwiches. I remember my mom sketching some fashionable women ( wearing "petal pushers" so that tells you how long ago "Fashionable" was - LOL ) I remember my mom singing and Dancing along with Nat King Cole, but nothing else specific....wish I could. Oh and mom liked to SPOON with us as the three of us went to sleep. 

Mom also had some Fashion tips for my sister Tina and I - Never Ever get your white gloves dirty!!! You want them Always to be pristine, who knew that styles would change so much. My mom spent hours making sure she looked just right. My sister Tina was the same way and she knew brand names, and always the Right outfit to wear. Well I must be the black sheep of the family, I Never knew what was the proper dress code and finally gave up trying. 

Mom also was quite popular with people and had the Kavorka with men. She always seemed to attract attention, again my sister had the same gift.

How I wish I had heard some stories of her family, or her eductation...or her home town. ANYTHING which would help me find out what happened to her.

My cousin Nick, whom I haven't seen in over 50 YEARS. said he and his father were walking down Yonge Street in Toronto (our big city) when they Bumped into my mom! He thinks it was about 1968...kinda broke my Heart...I moved out of my dad's home 1969 * It's hard to push forward some days when you think of all the "shoulda, woulda, coulda's" that were SO close, but now is gone forever. Thankfully the Geneology buddy LOU, keeps reminding me to "Never give up"  IF I don't follow this thru now, I will Never know what happened to my mom.

I "need" to know what happened to Lenora Anne Jennings!

Birth MOM search @ 65

FOUR - Genealogy Research NEEDS organization

LENORA JENNINGS "VERI" Toronto Ontario 1957

Genealogy research needs Organization

There is a note pad with "notes", a binder with random pages of information. Also a file envelope of many bits of paper with notes jotted down, and then a bunch of single papers with "to do" lists and suggestions. 

Everytime I did a search there was a note detailing why I thought this one "could be" my mom. I also made a note of the family members so I could see if they fit the profile ( 2 sisters and a brother, all older ) The information was becoming a mish mash of over load. It was time to get serious!

It took a full 2 DAYS of sorting, writing and filing to get thru all the papers. I splurged on a multi purposed binder with indexes and envelopes to organize the information I already had collected. The amount of Duplicate profiles was amazing...and such a waste of my time. I realized from this point on, I needed to use my time more productively. AND keep better notes of my searches.

I decided to have a separate section for each person - MOM, dad, Tina and myself. There is a file section for Documents, and another for Certificates. I still have to figure out how to keep myself searching in the right direction. Right now I'm using colored "Stickies" @ my PC. It's too easy to get sidetracked.

FIND OTHERS SEARCHING THEIR FAMILY TREE

I made a new friend (Lou) on FB who taught Genealogy for many years. She has been the person driving me in the right direction for my search for LENORA JENNINGS. She asks all the right questions, which leads to other questions I need to be looking for. Better than staring @ my PC screen for direction - LOL

I also went to a Search group @ the LDS church ( Latter Day Saints ) There are 5 PC's set up, all connected to full memberships on the various Search sites, like ANCESTRY.CA and FAMILY SEARCH.org There was a hand full of "helpers" at LDS who get you started in your search.  I learned a few tricks from them how to use the different search venues on Ancestry. My best advice is to @ least check out one of these places...btw, they did NOT try to get me to join the Church or convert me. As a matter of fact no one even mentioned religion.

GENEALOGY DIRECTION

LENORA ANNE JENNINGS - PROFILE SEARCH

With only my mom's name, this is how I am conducting my search

my BIRTH CERTIFICATE Long version

Has MOMs name and age at time of my birth, and State she was born in. ( KENTUCKY ) It does NOT show Date of birth or any identifying information

PARENTS MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE

It showed a discrepancy for MOMs age, and had her place of residence at time of marriage. ( CHICAGO ) Again NO identifying information

DIVORCE DECREE

This was filed in MIAMI-DADE FLORIDA and there was NO identification saying where my mom lived, or date of birth. My dad was living in Canada, so not sure how he filed there...guess he could have been on vacation?

U.S. CENSUS

This is a great place to work from "IF" you know ANY family history...but I do NOT. So for me, it's looking @ names blindly. IF I knew even one person's name who was a sister or family member of my mom, this would work. I have contacted many people on ANCESTRY who have Public Family Trees for JENNINGS, but so far NO one knows my mother.

FIND A GRAVE

They have alot of graves, which again would be helpful IF I knew exactly where my mom was from. Even though she listed Kentucky as place of Birth, I don't know her Birth date. Looking thru the Graves is good IF I knew more facts

I just have to keep moving FORWARD, and NEVER give up!

THREE - Can't find what I'm searching for?!?!

Lenora and Peter VERI Toronto Ontario about 1956

I can't find what I am Searching for?!?!

It didn't take long to realize the info I want is not just laying around. It takes dedication,  LONG late nites @ the PC and Forget about sleep, comfort or television. "Searching" becomes a drug and it takes over ALL thoughts. I Lay in bed after a fruitless nite of searching, my mind wanders, trying to think "out side the box" and what else can I do?

That's when I discovered there is more than one site to search...actually there is more than I can possibly keep track of. Seems each has something different to offer. Trying to keep track of passwords and Family trees, presents it's own challenges. BUT it is worth the effort. A few times a New document or Census starts a new series of searching and a surge of energy

FAMILY TREE is only the start

Best thing about making the Family Tree, is it keeps me on track. I can easily see who still needs to be added, what dates I am missing etc. I started with ONE Family tree but it became too large to manage. (I had included my husbands family) Now I have changed how I do the Family Trees - I have separate Trees for different family. I made one for Hubby and his Finnish Family tree. Another for my Father and our Italian Family members and finally a tree for my mom "Lenora Anne Jennings". 

My " LENORA JENNINGS "  tree is really Sparse!!! There is only my mom, dad, sister and myself in the tree. Since I haven't found Anything on my mom yet, there is nothing I can put in there. It is my sole purpose, to just add Something about mom's family on her JENNINGS Family Tree!

On Ancestry when you do your Searches, there is a way to "Save your File".  I save all my searches to my "ShoeBox" Because the files I have saved so far are only Guesses, I don't want to add it to the MOM tree until I'm sure it's about her. I'm hoping that at least Some of the searches will be right!?  I'd hate to think I wasted my time on all the wrong people  

My FAVORITE Geneology SEARCH sites "So Far"

https://www.ancestry.ca/

https://www.findmypast.com/

https://www.familysearch.org/en/ 

https://www.findagrave.com/

https://www.myheritage.com/

https://billiongraves.com/

https://www.truthfinder.com/

Some of these sites are Free, some require $ to join.

I discovered that " Facebook " has a few ANCESTRY Search Help sites. The best thing on those sites is how Helpful the members are. There is always someone who will answer a question or direct me in a new direction. 
Another venue which may help my search is ADOPTION sites, any site helping to FIND BIRTH PARENTS. I can use ALL the help I can get!

TWO - ANCESTRY.ca 2 week Subscription STARTS it ALL!

Lenora Jennings "VERI" wedding picture March 7 1953

ANCESTRY.ca ~ Free 2 week subscription!

The questions have always been there....what happened to our BIRTH mom? Where did she go when she lost custody of my sister and I? Did she get married, have other children, and enjoy the rest of her life? Did she ever try to reach us? I am 64 years old and struggle to understand.

I suppose there was a lot of things in play that prevented her finding us, and vice versa. Those were the days before cell phones and computers. My sister and I didn't have any money or mom's personal information to start a search. My sister Tina and I also lived on our own, but without a phone. BUT It doesn't solve anything to look in the small rear view mirrow (what is Behind you ), best to look in the Large FRONT window and concentrate on where you are going "now"  It is difficult though to Not wonder about how different our lives could have been IF we had stayed in touch with our mom.

Shoulda, woulda, coulda

Tina and I spoke many times on the odd random little memories we had of our lives with mom. We would also say "we should write this all down so we never forget" BUT of course we did NOT. The memory of an eight and a ten year old who spent much of those years living with other families, have little recall.

My mothers side of the family had an inherited bowel cancer called " FAP " Our mother had it, and we heard a few of her siblings died from it. Unfortunetly my sister also had FAP, and had 3 major surgeries. Tina died in 2009 at the young age of  52. My dad suffered from Parkinsons the last decade of his life, and he passed away Sept 2017. Now I AM FREE to search for my MOM...but now I am on my own for remembering the small fragments of our young years with her. ALL I have is her name - this will be a Challenge!

Ancestry, Family Search, 23 and me

Around Xmas 2017 I saw alot of advertizing for a FREE 2 week trial of Ancestry. Yeah, yeah - Nothing is free...but I signed up. It's then I discovered I had set up an account years earlier??? But I had not signed up for the "Paid" searches.  I started searching and it was like a drug. The problem was the FREE search was only for Canada, so I used it every nite to search out my dads side of the family. Well I was shocked to find out all kinds of things I had never known. There were still births, names, dates and it was enough to peak my interest in doing more searches. Before my FREE 2 weeks was up, I SUBSCRIBED for WORLD searches!!! Ancestry dangled it's lure and I took the bait - LOL

https://www.ancestry.ca/

~

I wish I could say I found out really interesting things about my mother and the search was super easy...NOT!!!! I have  looked under every imaginable name spelling, different states, various guesses about her age, but so far NOTHING.I also keyed in my 1/2 brother Steve's name. But I don't know his adopted name, birthday or where in the USA he was born, doubt I will ever find him. It's been a bit frustrating and I can't believe how many times I have stayed up til 3am searching. Sometimes after searching for long hours, my eyes see double and my brain is drained. All I can do it look at the PC screen trying to figure out what the heck am I missing? I will detail my fruitless journey next!

ONE - LENORA JENNINGS ~ The Drama ~ the Details...my First post is the hardest

Lenora Anne Jennings wedding picture March 4 1953

( page 1 )

My MOM ~ "LENORA ANNE JENNINGS" 

 "Birth MOM search @ 65" is my Blog to Chronicle the journey to find my BIRTH Mother "LENORA ANNE JENNINGS" who I last saw in 1964 when I was 10 years old.

MY mother LENORA JENNINGS apparently met my father PETER VERI @ a hotel in CHICAGO USA. They were both worked there and in their early 20's. Dad thought mom was rich because she was wearing a Mink coat, ya gotta LUV the 50's. I don't know the name of the hotel where my mom worked in Chicago. I heard she worked in a cocktail lounge as a Cigarette Girl, dad was a Bartender

My parents married March 1953 in Chicago, Cook county Illinois, and then moved to Toronto Ontario Canada where my father was raised.  My Paternal Grandparents came to Canada from Italy. Dad was born in Guelph Ontario and moved to Toronto Ontario with his 2 brothers and a sister. It was a Strict Roman Catholic upbringing and my mother just did Not fit in.

The  "VERI"  BEGINNING

I was born a year later in March 1954, my little sister Tina was born July 1956.
I remember things seemed happy at home, and I have some fond memories of my parents.

I do not have an exact date when my parents split, but I am guessing about 1958.  My mother was a Surprise to dad's family. Apparently dad just showed up with a pregnant mom as his wife. The tight knit family hadn't heard about my mom and she wasn't readily accepted into the fold.  It was to be expected, after all she had worked in a night club and was Fair haired and Fair skinned -  And most shocking was she had given birth to a baby boy before she met my dad. Most definitely Not a nice "Italian" girl. My father had a habit of keeping "his" people separate from his Other people...I saw it first hand growing up.  Mingling with the other family and friends was not encouraged, so I think mom was kept apart from the main core of the family. Brought out for special occasions.

After my parents split, life changed drastically for my sister Tina and I. The next 5 years we were boarded out ( Group Homes ) Many times to strangers and we did not see our mother often. We were fortunate the homes we were placed with were Kind people, and children our age. I remember at least 4 different homes, a summer with an Uncle and his family in Fenelon Falls Ontario and twice with mom...all within a 5 year period. There was alot of moving ~ but we spent  holidays and summers with our dad. We were young and excited to spend time with him.

It was during one of those visits with our father, that we stayed at his new house.  Dad was living with a new woman "Mary Turner" and her daughter and son.  I expect the idea of fighting for custody had something to do with Mary wanting to secure a home base for her own children. We never liked Mary, none the less there was a custody battle and we were living with dad and Mary Full time. Our mom was a single woman raising 2 girls and working as a Cigarette girl. Dad had a house and a stay at home woman who would care for us while he worked. It is no surprise dad was granted custody
It was 1964 and the LAST TIME WE SAW OUR MOTHER 

( except for when she tried to abduct us from school but dad stopped her - a story for another time) 

Birth MOM search @ 65 years old!

There are a few reasons why "  I am 64 and trying to Find my BIRTH mother "

TINA and I did Not spend enough time with our mom to know Anything about her Previous life.  We never talked about her parents or siblings, the town mom grew up in....or anything else about her life. I don't even know my mom's Date of birth, her education or even her favorite color. Something inside me (maybe impending retirement) is feeding the sense of urgency to find out Everything I can NOW while I can.

Another reason is the death of my Dear sister Tina in 2009...and now the death of my father in 2017.
Finding out what happened to my mother will Not bring them back, but hopefully will release the demons of wondering what ever happened to my mom. My sister and I tried to look for our mom but could never find any clues. Watching the "Adoption Search" programs of a Happy reunion is a Fantasy for me. I will be Happy just knowing her final resting place.

One of the most heart breaking things that happened when I was a child, is that my dad destroyed ALL the pictures of our mom. I am Really grateful though that he saved 3 wedding pictures (which he gave to me when I turned 30)  Dad would NEVER talk about mom, and later he said she had died, end of discussion!  Never any details about it and any time we would ask a question, there was shit to pay.  Dad was a good man, but Strict and unyielding. I am now free to search for my mom.

The Document I found that Started my SEARCH

I have absolutely NO idea how to research my missing mother, or her family but I have joined ANCESTRY.CA which I'm hoping is a good start and watching YouTube videos!  

I invite you to follow a true NEWBIE who has NO talents in the world of Genealogy  

I welcome any tips or methods you have used which may help.

Wish me LUCK on my

"BIRTH MOM SEARCH AT 65"