TWENTY FOUR - Learned a new skill and it gives a new perspective

Mom's wedding photo is given a new life and a new obsession

A few pitiful photographs get a make over

When you have only a handful of photographs, it's hard to feel a connection with your past. Most of us enjoy looking thru old photos and recanting old memories that are connected to them. Brother Steve and I do not have many pictures of our lives. Unfortunately there is only a small handful of our mom. There is a group called "Random Acts of Kindness of Photography" and they are on Face Book. The group help fix old photographs out of the kindness of their hearts. It is a great group of volunteers. 

Photographs bring your Ancestors to life

One of the Volunteers colorized a picture for me....and I was amazed. After thanking her for it, she told me of a site "Colorize" which does it automatically for you. You upload a black and white photo, Click and it's done! Let me just say that I have been using it every day since. I am working my way thru all the old pics and amazed at the results. I can't wait to colorize the really old photographs I found on Ancestry. TRY IT, it makes the people more real!

Hello Aunt Rita, Mom and Dad

For almost my entire life I have wondered who the Pretty Brunette lady was standing up for my mom when she married my dad. I didn't find out that she was my "Aunt Rita" until Oct 2018 during my first meeting with my Maternal cousins in Chicago. The Jenning cousins had other photos of Aunt Rita so there was no doubt it was her. BUT the Black and White photograph was just an old photo without depth. When I colorized this photo is made me feel like I was seeing my Aunt and my mom for the First time. I don't have Any photos of my mom in color....and here she was in all her glory. I felt I was actually seeing my mom for the first time, as a young 21 year old woman excited to marry. And then there is Aunt Rita. I realize that perhaps she didn't wear a pale blue dress, but the color on her face made her feel real to me.

Genealogy and research are not the only way to bring your Ancestors to life.

TWENTY THREE - Spending time with my "Brother from the same Mother"

Visit with "BROTHER STEVE" @ his Favorite look out point in BC  July 2019

Getting to know ya Brother ~ it's Amazing

I was fortunate enough to spend a few days with my "Brother Steve" this summer. His partner of 16 years is invested in us siblings getting to know each other.  I have a lot of family out west, so it is a bit hectic trying to squeeze a bit of time with everyone....but it's Veri important for my brother and I to have this bonding time. Even though I call Steve every week to chat, it is much more enjoyable actually getting to spend time together laughing and chatting.

Hey, you remind me of my sister

It's a strange feeling to listen to a complete stranger like my brother and then get a glimpse of my sister Tina. What is even stranger is knowing that Steve and Tina most likely are doing things that my mom "Lenora Jennings"  probably did. The way they laugh or a certain "look" they give when they are telling a joke...be it ever so lame of a joke - LOL 

My mother and sister were both City gals and it was a surprise to find out that Steve is a Nature lover like myself. My brother left the big city decades ago to enjoy the beauty out west. We spent our 2 days at the beach, at his garden at home and then visiting his Favorite "Look out" point in Vancouver. 

It was a ZEN visit with Good food and conversation.

How many clues are in the reports

I look at Steve's Non-identifying reports from the Children's Aid Society every few months, looking for new clues. The reports say mom was an out door kind of girl, but I only remember mom as the Ultimate Lady in her dress and manners. Mom liked the vibe of the city life. My sister Tina was always on the go and a fashionista. I realize now that it was in my sister's genes. 

I must admit it is frustrating that Ontario has this policy, and some provinces will tell all. It seems so unfair to think that even after "SIXTY FIVE YEARS" that a person is not Allowed to know about their history. Let's face it, how many of the people involved are even alive 65 years later? Something is Wrong with the system!

On the up side, Steve has a record of his physical and mental growth during his young years. Even though at times the report reads like a weird experiment, I feel it also gives me an insight into his younger life before he was adopted. I wish I had something similar to share with Brother Steve. It would be interesting to see how our lives were similar or different growing up. A bummer that both Brother Steve and I have virtually no photos of our life, but we at least have a chance to make memories and take photos Together as Seniors. We are LUCKY to have found each other!

TWENTY TWO - Hello Maternal Grandma!!!

My new Treasure, a photo of my Grandma "ANNA MAE (Pickerell) ELLIS JENNINGS"

Maternal Grandma "Anna Mae and Lenora" (my mom)

One of the nicest things about finding some of my Maternal family, is the Treasures they have shared with me. One of my "First" cousins used to research the family Genealogy a few decades ago with her aunt. During the "Jennings Reunion" Oct 2018, my cousin gave me this photograph of my Maternal Grand mother with my mom as a baby. I was thrilled at my first glimpse of "ANNA MAE ELLIS Jennings" with my mom LENORA. She gave birth to 9 children, and 6 survived. My grandfather ROY Ellis JENNINGS died within 2 weeks of my mothers birth. A few years later she passed away from Cancer. Grandma certainly had a tough life.

This photo sparked my interest into Anna Mae's life

It's such a weird journey. I get tired of looking for family members and coming up empty.... then I see this photo and feel like I "Must" find out more about my Grandma. I need to know her, her struggles and get her essence. It's difficult because there is No one alive who knew my Grandma or Grandpa. There are many records on ANCESTRY, $ well spent on my membership

SO I started on a crazy search for any documents, records and DNA matches that will connect me to all things Anna Mae. I am happy to say I was able to trace back and find my Grandma's Mom, Dad and sister! I also found a few people on ANCESTRY.CA who are direct descendants of my Grandma's sister. I've written a few of them, but no reply yet. I'm using the time to search online for more info. Four times this week I have stayed up searching until 3 am - feel I'm on a roll.

Thank Gawd my search "Angels" are still with me

I think the biggest chance of success is to have folks who keep you motivated and give a helping hand. I am fortunate to have "2" such Face Book Angels, Tom Burk and Lou Hans.  Lou kept pushing me, saying "never give up Yvette, Keep moving forward" It is what I needed to hear when the search got too hard for me....and Tom Burk, well he is Amazing. Seems he has a built in Radar of when my interest wains. All of a sudden I will get a few emails with New information. OR he will ask a few questions which ignites my interest again. If you really want to find out your genealogy, join a few FaceBook Search groups, write a lot of letters on ANCESTRY, My Heritage and any other group. I still have a long way to go, but I feel blessed to have found so many family members. 

MOM is still hiding...but I "will" find her ~ stay tuned!

TWENTY ONE ~ Learning we all have the right to sing our own song Brother Steve

Brother Steve has a different Song ( path ) than mine

The Genealogy Tune is different for everyone.

My personal search for mom "LENORA Jennings" has become an all consuming melody that plays itself over and over again in my head. I ponder what else I can search for, what name, a different state, etc that can break this stale mate. I read articles & discuss it with those friends who are interested ( if they are true friends, then they get the info regardless if they are tired of it all - LOL) Even my Private Face book page with some true Search Angles, gets a regular posting to see if anyone found something new. I often check the documents I posted there to read again, bc I worry I have missed some key piece of Information. Even after all this time, I will stay at the PC until the wee hours of the night...maybe there is a New  "Ancestry DNA Match" that I haven't seen before. Maybe someone out there knows about my mom ~ it CAN happen, right?

A different Song for my Brother Steve

My excitement about everything connected to my mom includes my Brother Steve. He requested his non-identifying information from the Children's Aid Society of Canada. Well they weren't kidding...there was Nothing that could help in our search. After some gentle coaxing I got him to request the same for his Bio-dad. My thought was maybe if I located HIM, there might be a chance to find our mom. I was a little surprised when "Brother Steve" said HE wasn't interested in finding his Bio-dad!?!?!? Pardon me??? WAIT, What??? Don't you want to know if you have any other 1/2 siblings, aunts uncles, grandparents....maybe your dad is still alive? Aren't you curious? 

 Brother Steve said  "I always wanted to know about my mother and thought it would be nice to have a sister ~  my search is over now" WOW, I will admit it is hard for me to understand, BUT  I realize that we ALL have a different thirst for our roots. My husband and a close friend have NO desire to know what happened in the past, or meet any New relatives. They could care less.

My search for mom continues

SO I will accept that my Brother Steve and I have different journeys but we have a Joint mission of finding out what has happened to our mother. It would fill an emotional void to know her final resting place....to pay homage to the woman who gave us life. If she has passed, I would like to visit her grave and say a Prayer. Maybe talk to her for awhile and tell her how much I miss her.

My voyage is not over yet ~ still hoping to find my mom, LENORA JENNINGS

TWENTY - the GOOD, the BAD & the UGLY (truth hurts)

Retouched photo of mom by "Random Acts of Kindness" group on FB

The Pendulum swing of "Hopeful to Hopeless"

As mom's 87th Birthday became closer, my sense of urgency to find her reared it's ugly head. I again started pestering people of what they remembered about her (when did you last see her, where did she live, did your parents mention Anything about what she was doing etc) One of those people suggested a great idea....why don't I find someone willing to run her name in the U.S. data base...maybe there is something about her there! 

WOW why didn't I think of that!

Once I found someone to run her name, I was on Pins and Needles. Somewhere in the back of my mind I assumed Suddenly she would be found. Maybe a little old lady in a home with dementia, or even better a really nice retirement home in Florida. I couldn't help but have butterflies for the few days waiting to hear back. I warned hubby that IF she was found, I was flying out there ASAP to see her. And of course "Brother Steve" would accompany me to meet his mom!

Another CLOSED door

Well it didn't take long to be shot down by a burning inferno of Realty. Mom did NOT show up AT ALL, no matter how far back he looked. I was told that she was Most likely DEAD, and I should try to find out for sure using the SSID. When I explained that I was told I would need a death Certificate to get the SS#....and to get a SS# I need the Death certificate. I'm in a NO WIN situation.

It was suggested that I go State by State asking if there is a death certificate for her. "Some" states might do a search for free, while others would charge for the search. My worry is the fact that I don't know her last name or if she had remarried. Being in the "Great White North" prevents me easy access to all the USA has to offer for searching. He then suggested I could possibly find her if I take a trip to the Largest Genealogical Library of the world in Salt Lake City.

Working on my FACT Collecting

So that is what I'm "Hoping" to do this year. I already warned hubby that it's happening (I hope) My 1st 6 months searching for mom, I met LOU in a Search Group on Facebook. Lou went to the LDS Library in Salt Lake City last year. She prompted me to get a list of all the major facts and have detailed notes. Arrange to have an LDS helper booked Before I get to Salt Lake City....and she offered to meet up with me to get me started once I'm there. I couldn't ask for a Nicer Angel. 

I am going to Push ahead with plans for the LDS Library. I have already checked out flights, hotels and transportation. I MUST follow this thru to the end. Seems like this is my Last hope for success. My Recently found BROTHER STEVE turns 70 in 2020...so that is the NEW Deadline to 
"FIND LENORA JENNINGS"!!!!

EIGHTEEN - HAPPY 65th BIRTHDAY to ME!

65 years old and still can't find my mom LENORA JENNINGS

My 65th Birthday wish was to find my mother.

It was a grand mission, I wanted to find my mom  and my brother before my 65th Birthday. Because I didn't even know my mom's or my brothers birth dates, I realized it would be difficult. Spending Hours researching and taking an ANCESTRY.CA DNA TEST was the first real step in the right direction.  Sometimes though you just have to admit you failed....but of course that does Not mean you can give up. Even though I had set the deadline to find them by my 65th birthday, maybe I set my bar too high. There were times I actually thought I would make it, but I don't think I am any closer than I was a few months ago. On the plus side there are MANY  things I was able to accomplish in my 18 months of searching.

 What I found so far is amazing

The only fact I knew "for sure" (which ended up NOT being true) was my mothers name "LENORA JENNINGS" I found my mom's Birth date and birth place after searching custody papers at the court house. It was surreal reading her birth date for the first time in my life @ age 64.

I was also able to track down my mom's parents and siblings, though they have all passed away

What a wonderful accomplishment to have found and met my Maternal cousins whom I didn't even know about! I was pleasantly surprised to feel such a profound connection to them.

BEST of all I found and met my BROTHER STEVE - and we speak every week, rain or shine!

The search for LENORA ANNE JENNINGS continues

Having missed my dead line for finding my mother is a tad defeating....but also lights the fire under me. I feel so close, yet so far from the truth. I keep reassuring my brother Steve, that I WILL find our mother, or at least her resting place. Steve has also been helping. He obtained his Adoption papers with non-identifying information about our mother from the Children's Aid Society in Toronto. It didn't give us much but he has also requested non-identifying information on his Bio-dad. We are crossing our fingers that there is something in those files. I think another trip to the Court house for more files on mom might help....and of course another visit to the "Church Of Latter Day Saints" where they have people who will help you with your search.

Going to set another dead line to accomplish this - lets try for September 19 2019 - Brother STEVE's 69th Birthday! Wish US LUCK!!!!

NINETEEN - A new hint in an old document - Divorce decree

PARENTS Divorce Decree 1979

Original decree tells more than Certificate

It's amazing - no matter How many times you tell yourself to look in Every corner...you miss something! My frustration at not finding anything new sometimes gets the best of me. It was one of those days that I decided to write another post on the Face Book "searching for bio family" I explained that even though I have checked, double checked, triple checked the SSN listings, I can't find anything that will tell me if my mom "LENORA ANNE JENNINGS" is alive or dead.  There was a flurry of questions from people who had ideas on finding new information. I had posted the File # on my parents Divorce Decree, and the fact that the Certificate was missing information. When I called the courthouse, I was told they didn't have any more info...so I dropped it.

Well this Lady double checked the certificate and then sent me a private message with something new...."Some one" had requested a copy of the divorce decree in the last 10 years....WHAT?!?!?!

WHAT can this possibly mean???

YES I realize that maybe there is a Simple explanation....but it could also open up the Real possibility that in 2011, my mom was alive!!! My dad had moved on with his life and suffering from Parkinson's disease. I can't imagine that he would have even been capable of asking for a copy, and of course to what end would he need a copy. BUT "IF" mom wanted to remarry, or prove she was divorced, then it is Possible that my mother Could have requested a copy. The thought is MIND boggling to me, but now I need to prove it.  Gotta get myself focused again 

Feels like I'm back to square one!

So 2 days searching for the files, and I am unable to see the latest date of the request. I ordered the original divorce document because I already had the Divorce Certificate, which was missing info.

Unfortunetly the Court house won't mail to Canada....good thing I have my newly found Maternal cousins in the U.S. I have been sitting here looking at the document for a few days now, hoping a light will go off, but so far NOT!  My cousin Michael offered to ask some legal friends what my next step should be. I'm desperate enough to post again on Face Book "Bio family search page" Maybe someone has a new idea on how to find out WHO requested a copy of the divorce.  

I spoke to my Brother Steve today and vowed I will continue the search for our mom.  I had hoped to find her before I turned 65, but I missed my deadline. I turned 65 years old 2 weeks ago. Yep I gotta get focused, become obsessed again and hope Somewhere, Someone knows where I can find her!
I'm going to KEEP LOOKING

SEVENTEEN ~ my sister TINA died 10 years ago today ~ sad day

TINA and I enjoying life at Rice Lake - 1985

Christina Marie 1956 - 2009

Today's post will be dedicated to my kid sister Tina. It is the 10th anniversary of her death, a date I wish wasn't such a bitter sweet reminder of What was. From as young as I can remember, it was "Tina and I" When our parents split there were Group homes, many moves to a new neighborhood and new schools. The times we lived with mom had a lot of unsupervised time while mom worked. When dad got custody of us, the result was another parent who worked Many hours to make ends meet. We were left with a step-mom who was Not a caring, compassionate person. Our lives were controlled by a new strictness and became difficult as we got older. The upside was it made Tina and I closer because thru All our life changes, we had each other.

Itty, bitty, teenie, weenie, tiny, little sister Tina

Our maternal side of the family is plagued by colon / bowel cancer. There's a  history of dying too young, even if treated at an early age. It was the fate of my sister. She left this earth before she could accomplish everything she wanted. 

BUT I want to stress, Tina lived every moment like it was her last. Tina was always the "Life of the Party"  Her impeccable fashion sense was inherited from our mom. Tina was Always the BEST dressed, perfect hair and the most color co-ordinated person I ever met. It was a gift I never had. I marvel how she found lipstick, nail color and hair color to match for every occasion.

My sister married young, had 3 children in quick concession and then separated. No matter what was going on, she tried to make sure her children ate well, dressed well and enjoyed the finer things in life. Tina enjoyed playing games. Card games, board games, sheckers and chess. Tina also liked Bowling, playing her violin, sketching and singing...but she LOVED to go Shopping and to the Casino!!!  Tina was in her glory spending time with friends, and family.

She is still with us in Spirit

Tina was fortunate enough to have 5 grandchildren before she passed. Tina enjoyed a close relationship with our father and she also had a sweet significant life partner. I hope she can see that I have finally found our brother Steve and we now have some pretty wonderful first cousins on our mom's side. I hope my sister Tina can feel the Love that we all have for her. And most of all, the joy we have in the memories of our short time together You are missed sister!

SIXTEEN ~ Wonderful to find my Jennings cousins!

Meeting my JENNINGS cousins for the FIRST TIME!!!

The Journey is worth the effort

Not sure I can explain the extent of frustration during the search. Fortunate for me it  resulted in one of the most meaningful meetings of my life.

I had continued writing and searching on ANCESTRY.CA, MY HERITAGE, and any other site I could find. I also was getting valuable help from a few members of my Private "Facebook" page "Searching for Lenora Jennings". One gentleman Tom BURK was able to track down a cousin whom I had written to many times. She had moved a few years earlier and wasn't receiving my messages. I had hit a brick wall.

But thankfully Tom found my cousin Anne, I was elated to speak with her and her mother....who had actually met my mom a few times back in the 70's! After another month of searching for mom I was feeling a bit defeated and decided to search on "Ancestry.ca" for information on one of her brothers....BINGO, I found another couple of cousins!!! It was like playing a game of Domino, bit by bit cousins were falling into place.  All in all I found 5 cousins and 3 of their children and --- drum roll pleaze "Aunt Doreen" who once was married to my Uncle! AMAZING!!!!

BURNING UP THE PHONE LINES

What the heck do you call a feeling of Instant Kinship with people you have never met? Kizmit? Whatever it's called, it feels Wonderful! I never knew I had any cousins and then I find an entire Jennings tribe, it is more than I could have ever imagined. So then began the many phone calls, texting and picking their brain for any memories of my mother. I found out the cousins were too young to remember a lot about my mom.I was sad to learn that there mother had died just a few months before I found them. Aunt Joyce was the person who enjoyed Genealogy and researched the family history. If anyone had any information on my mother, it would have been her. I am sorry that my aunt and her oldest daughter passed away before I had a chance to know them.

I CAN'T WAIT TO MEET MY CLAN

I really wanted to meet my Jennings cousins....and I felt blessed that they wanted to meet me as well. I was on Pins and Needles just waiting for a time where everyone could get together. It took a few months but a date is arranged. Booked my flight to the United States. The biggest preparation was going thru all my notes. I wanted to make sure I had all my documents and most of all all my Questions ready for them. I am READY....LET'S GO!!!!